Instead of Brides, It’s Rebari Grooms That Move in With their In-Laws to Perform Domestic Chores for them for a Period of 7 Years…
The longstanding tradition of the Indian bride leaving her maternal home to move in with their in-laws doesn’t work in Rajasthan anymore. The Rebari community of Rajasthan has amended quaint marriage laws that require the grooms to move in with their in-laws. In next few paragraphs, we’ll tell you why things happen differently here.
The Rebari community constitutes of nomadic pastoralists (Banjaras) that wander Rajasthan deserts along with their herds. They’re original inhabitants of Jalore, Pali and Sirohi districts. Long-long ago, the Rebaris followed the practice of female feticide. Being illiterate and belonging to the backward regions of Rajasthan, the community was infamous for their preference of a male heir. Many families killed their girl child by drowning them in a pot of boiling milk. Atrocious as it may sound, this is the bitter truth! The number of girls within the community drooped down to an alarming number, which is why the Rebari boys face a ‘demand and supply problem’, when it comes to choosing a perfect bride for wedding.
A couple of years back, based on the statistics provided under Janani Suraksha Yojana (women protection scheme in Rajasthan) it was found that the Reodar block of Sirohi district was heavily inhabited by the Rebaris. The district had the poorest child sex ratio (634 girls to 1000 boys). The sex ratio was skewed so badly that there was acute shortage of adult women. The men turned to other communities for bride hunting. Probably that’s why the community the educated ones devised this unique idea to ensure a happy marriage for younger generations.
Since Rebari community is indulgent in nomadic activities, it’s unsafe for them to travel with several women in their pack. Many patriarchal families give this reason for not wanting girl child, which doesn’t seem valid or justifiable in any respect. At several incidents, the daughters complained of their in-laws mistreating them when they failed to produce a male heir. In time, such happenings became so common that modern families required prospective grooms to move in with their daughters after the wedding.
As per new laws, the groom relocates to their wife’s place, where they serve her family and help them in all sorts of domestic chores. This way the community preaches the message of gender equality and ensures the safety of their daughters.
The brides move to their in-law’s place in the eighth year of their marriage. Quite contrary in case of other castes, Rebari parents feel privileged when a groom demands their daughter’s hand in marriage. Instead of girls’ parents fighting for a potential groom, it’s the other way round in Rajasthan. Moreover, the grooms don’t just respect and value their brides, but also help them perform various domestic chores like laundry, dishwashing, cattle grazing and cleaning. These marriages are subjected to stringent conditions so the couple can’t disrespect or hurt each other.
Besides this, they’ve also formed a committee titled Society for All Round Development (SARD) to deal with poor sex ratio using stable, concrete solutions. Most of them are already aware of the problem, thanks to the awareness campaigns run by the government.
Nevertheless, this unique custom has certainly helped their situation to some extent. After seven years, the emotionally bonded couple moves in with the boy’s parents. This way they understand each other’s family customs in a better manner.
